I’ve decided that the French are the leading cause for deforrestation. It’s their silent letters. If they didn’t print them, their words would be 30% shorter (or more!). That makes sentences and paragraphs 30% shorter. Suddenly, a 100-page story shrinks to 70 pages. Whadaya think?

Today I went to Versailles. It was grand in the original sense of the word. And it gave me clear insight into the motivation of the French Revolution. The gardens were absolutely gorgeous, and smelled so lovely.

Tonight, Mom, Dad, and I ate a Chinese restaurant. The Chinese owners spoke great French (couldn’t pick up an accent), and that was a fun surprise.

Yes, Sam, thanks for your help. You are the sole reason, quite honestly, that I’m going over there. Lemme know when the visa app arrives!

Now I’m in Paris, so I should fill out my Perth experience, which pretty much rocked. An amazing way to say goodbye to Oz for a while.

Thursday night at the dance, they asked me to DJ. So I played a few swing songs to let them know that I knew what swing was. Then, I played a few hip hop beats, a Portishead track, some Cake and Morpine as well. Boy did their heads spin. HUTTAH! After the dance, there was the first of many after parties. Folks just go over to a Perthies house for more music, much more beer, and food. And talking. We stayed out late (3am).

Friday was spent in Fremantle. Cafes and ice cream parlors, buskers and tourists. Before the dance that night, I ate at a ‘creole’ place called Morrison’s. Aussies have no idea what corn bread is. Oh well. The dance that night was to a live band that played fast and hot music. The afterparty went till 2am and I never really had a break.

Saturday I made a mistake. I tried to go drink for drink with an Aussie. We started just after noon, and boy did I have fun getting to five! I show up to the dance that night completely inebriated (that’s what happens when you have cereal for breakfast, a liquid lunch, and no dinner). I entered the dance competition and made it to the top ten. So there. As soon as the evening was over, straight to bed. No afterparty for me.

Sunday was tour Perth day. I went to King’s park, went to the whispering wall (a huge wall that carries your whispers to the other side of the park). I met up with a non-swing friend I met in Melbourne (on holiday in Perth), and we ate some Japanese food as we listened to a singing busker. A terrible pop karaoke singer, an Australian Idol in training. *shudder* The dance that night was a 40’s themed ball. So every one gets dressed up in suits, sailor outfits, and vintage garb (except for me - no room for my 3 piece in my bag. uf). But that dance was the best of the whole weekend. 6 hours of dancing in a huge, old hall. I drank four liters of water (and only used the bathroom to change shirts). The after party was very relaxing, and on the way, the whole dance (ie 200 people) stopped at Alfred’s, a hole-in-the-wall hamburger joint that keeps odd hours. You know, it’s the kind of place that would keep odd hours. We each order food, and I had my first bacon-cheese-egg hamburger. Very revitalising after the marathon circle-prancing. Out till 8am.

Monday was the goodbye dance. I woke up just in time for it. We went to a pub after and then to my host’s house for the after party. It was sweet. Munchies, drinks, laughs. Finally sleep.

Tuesday/Wednesday - off to Paris. I leave Perth to spend a few hours in Hong Kong. The airport is flash - plasma flat screen TVs everywhere, telling you weather, arrivals, departures, other things. A TV lounge, very comfortable and modern and NEW couches and recliners. Very open and full of things to do. The flight to Paris is long (the same as from LA to Melbourne). So, 21 hours of flight later (combined time), I arrive in Paris at 7am. My folks are waiting for me, and my recovery from the previous bender begins.

Today, we went to the Louvre mesuem - a ginormous art musuem holding ancient and classical art. I saw the Mona Lisa! And the Winged Victory. I also went to the top of the Eiffel. Very breezy. A funny thing about Paris - their public transport is strange. They have double-decker commuter trains, and their metro trains use rubber tires (like a bus). Everything is electric and silent, but the ‘tracks’ are concrete and metal strips wide enough for the tires. I laughed at first.

The language barrier is intimidating. Ordering food tonight was a bit embarrassing. But I’ll get used to it.

The website is still experiencing difficulties, but things are getting more sorted. I’m restoring the “I-love-me” site as you read.

Saturday (the 17th), I walk with Chris around the art gallery and see an amazing installation all about Australian artists. It’s the Biennial. And it rocks. Video art and photography and sculpture!

One piece was a 18min video called “Love”. It used old movie clips and used the song in Mer’s swing video with Tyler (on Javan’s page - which is being restored as you read). And it told a small story - lovers telling each other how much they loved eachother. Then some rejection, then some drink throwing, and then some women slapping men, and then some men slapping women, and finally women shooting men. Nice, powerful, disturbing.

Another video piece was three-in-one. Three projectors, three screens (viewable from both sides (so you could go behind and see a mirror image)). There was one script, just simple things, life stories, that kinda stuff. Each sceen, though, had a different shot. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. The first had two guys, roommates; the second an arguing couple on a couch; the last a mother and a daughter. One actor/actress would speak at a time (a monologue from the script), and then anther would speak on a different screen (using a different monologue). While a person was speaking, the others would sit idle, moving about, or just standing. Anyway, after the script was over, music would play and the thing would start over. BUT, suddenly you realized that the actors were speaking a different monologue than what they said previously. It was a trip. It pointed out that what you say takes on different meanings even in your immediate surroundings.

Another video piece was of an old man getting his face sutured. A doctor was tying his fact together - ear to ear to eybrow to neck to nose - and pulling it tight so that his skin bunched up. It went on for 15mins (according to the info plaque), but I could only hang around for 3 minutes.

One non-video piece was a wall of anti-Iraq-war post-it notes. 5m by 3m! Four flourescent colors! Very impressive, and loud. You could feel each voice and yet capture their overall unison.

So after the gallery, Chris and I walked around the botanic gardens, and then nicked off to another dance. A live jump-blues band was playing (think Easy Bill and the Big Beat), and they let me DJ between set breaks. It was a ton of fun, though the dance floor was very fast.

Sunday, I went back to the art gallery to see the things again, with Chris’ dance teaching partner, Cat. She also took me to the museum, which had heaps of Aboriginal info in it. Set also saw me off at the train terminal to Perth. The Indian Pacific. 2 1/2 days in a train. Okay.

So the train was acceptible. I had a standard seat (ie no sleeper). But the seat had 3x as much foot room as an airplane, and only two people to a side (no triple stuff). The car behind me was a lounge that had a TV, a few arcade games, and a couple of power points (along with the standard couches). Behind that car was the diner - a 50’s style cafe with vinyl seats and art-deco table tops. The food was certainly disturbing, but I only ate there twice. It was pretty cool to hang out in there, tho.

The train made two stops. Cook (pop 2, it only exists because of the trian, which brings supplies and tourists) and Kalgoorlie (pop ~15,000, the nation’s red-light capital). Otherwise, it was just cruising along. There were kilometer markers along the side of the tracks, so you could see your progress. And the train line has the longest straight piece of rail in the world - 490 km of no turns, bends, or curves. Just straight.

I rocked up in Perth 9am Tuesday, and some swing dancers picked me up. We went north to the harbor to eat some lunch and then went to a pre-exchange dance. It turned out that a guy I saw on the train was also coming for the Perth Lindy Exchange, so I recognized him at the dance. Strange, but cool. After the dance, my hostess and her guests (a Californian who I met in Melbourne and me) went back to her house and talked until about 4:30am.

Wednesday, I went to the doctor to have him give me a bill of health for the JET program. It was simple and painless. To see a doctor in Australia, just call them and they’ll get you in the same day or the next. After the check up, I sent it back to Denver - it’s their move now. The appointment was early, and so I was very tired. Consequently, I just lazed around all day. But, at night, there was a dance, and so I went, and it was good. Another live band was playing (and they covered a lot of Louis Prima songs), they were pretty good, too, tho they like to play fast songs a lot.

Today, the exchange officially starts. Everyone will be here, and the next four days will be nothing but dancing, eating, and drinking. Sleep will be gotten on my flight to Paris.

Okay, so I haven’t wrtten in a long while, but I was indisposed and the website went down for a bit (and I’m still trying to pick up the pieces).

But here’s what I’ve been up to….

Flew back to Melbourne on the 6th of April. The fligh was at 6am, so I needed to be at the airport at 4:30 (when it opened). Instead of paying for a dorm room that night, I hung out in the lounge of my hostel, taking power naps every now and then. Landed in Melbourne fine and caught up with friends during the next few days.

On Easter Sunday, I left on a 3-day touring bus for Adelaide. We spent the first day on the Great Ocean Road, a scenic highway built after WW1 by the returning soldiers. The coast is mainly sandstone, and so towers and arches have formed in the ocean as the land has eroded away. About 5000 people were at the 12 Apostles, the most prominent tower and arch spot on the road. Lunch was in a small tourist trap, but I started to get to know the others in the bus (there were only 11 of us).

The next day, we drove throught the Grampians - a very old mountain range. We hiked to the top of one of the peaks, Mt. Sturgeon, and saw wallabies along the way. At other times, we saw koalas, kangaroos, and emus!

The third day was mainly driving, though we did stop in the morning to walk in “The Grand Canyon” - but it was more like a very small gorge. The rocks looked like elephant skin. We also stopped to see albino kangaroos. These guys live in a protected area, and live very short lives because they get skin cancer (from not having any pigment).

When I arrived in Adelaide, I connected with a swing dancer I knew from Melbourne (who was in Adelaide teaching a medical course). We got a beer at a pub and listened to some pretty hard jazz. After a few songs, we gave up and crashed.

The next day (14th, now), I walked around the city center and stopped in to look at a few shops. I ate lunch at a small mom-and-pop cafe called “Smoking Joes”, and they used the Stones’ toungue as their logo. That night, I connected with Adelaide dancers (as the Melbournian was returning) who put me up for the next few nights. We made pizza for dinner and martinis to drink. It was great fun, and it was nice to dance after not having done it for last 5 weeks.

Thursday, my hostess took me for a drive in the hills just east of Adelaide as we ended up a lookout over the city. 1 million people take up a lot of space! In the evening, we went to a swing workshop being taught by the pizza and martini duo. After that was a social dance, much enjoyable. I’m getting excited for Perth’s Lindy Exchange.

Friday, Chris (Mr. Martini) takes me in to his place and we spend the day relaxing. Pizza over at his friend’s house, then return for movies and CD burning (he’s taking some of my music to use for dances).

So that about sums it up, except for the biggest news:

I got the position in Japan! I’ve been accepted, and now I have to jump through quite a few hoops (with deadlines attached) to secure my spot. That’s going to be difficult. In Perth, I need to see a doctor for a general bill of health (and a chest x-ray!). Uf.

I’ve uploaded my New Zealand pictures (yes, all of them). I’ve found a nice internet cafe, and was able to do it:

meriwi.net. Go to the main page, click on “gallery”, click on “Joe’s Pics”, click on “New Zealand” and begin!

The Stray tour tends to attract people with a different mentality. The Kiwi Experience is a party bus, but the stray folk are more interested in meeting people. I’ve always found one or two absolutely incredible people on each bus. We hang out for the time we’re together and then move on, but friendships build so deeply very suddenly. It is good.[/url][/list]

EDIT:

Oh, and guess what else…

I ran into Brigid! That’s right, walked around Wellington all afternoon with a friend from Stray, came back to the hostel to think about dinner (mmmMMMMMmmmmmmmm curry), and Brigid was sitting in my dorm room. She had arrived that day from the south island on her way north, and fate had reception put us in the same room. Now, what are the chances of that? Sounds like Zaphod Beeblebrox was cruising nearby in the Heart of Gold, with the Improbability Drive at the red line. Holy Schnikees!

Mt. Doom held out for a while, but finally it submitted. The weather when I arrived was terrible - cold rain with high winds. It stayed that way for the next few days, too.

But I found things to do in the village - yes, I stayed in a village - one pub, two hotels, a camp site, and a visitor center. I put a 500 piece jigsaw together, watched the Lord of the Rings (Two Towers), relaxed in the hotels’s sauna and hot tub, and took short hikes.

Finally, on Tuesday, I did the Tongariro Crossing. It had terrain like I had never seen - I was walking on active volcanos, going over lava flows and previous eruptions (the most recent in 1996). The altitude was low for you Coloradoans - max alt was 1886 meters (so Boulder’s alt), but it was pretty windy, about 50pmh at the summit. But so clear, so dead, it really was Mordor. It was long - 17km - and steep, but well worth it.

Now I’m in Wellington (NZ’s capitol) and back in civilization. I’ve been to the Botanic Gardens - very nice and green, and Te Papa, the national museum. It was very impressive and huge - sharp and polished displays. And now, I await the showtime for the final Lord of the Rings - I’ll be seeing it tonight in the Embassy Theater (where the film was premiered), in a leather recliner. Very good.